Friday, May 18, 2007

worst covers pt. 2

dear godihateyourband,

You know what the biggest difference between Pearl Jam and Bad Company is? Sincerity. I don’t find Eddie Vedder too credible when he’s singing about being an abused child, but I certainly believe Paul Rodgers when he talking about how much he loves pussy.

Pearl Jam played aren’t the Beatles to Nirvana’s Rolling Stones, they’re Herman’s Hermits. (Following this logic Mudhoney were the Pretty Things, Tad were the Downliners Sect and absolutely nobody were the Kinks.)

Kurt Cobain hits it big and like a good record geek he pushes the bands he loves that never got their due, giving a hunk of his MTV unplugged set over to the Meat Puppets and reforming the Raincoats. I repeat, the fucking Raincoats. What’s Vedder do? He jams with the Who and the Doors, two of the most overrated “classic” rock bands ever., who are so creatively desiccated they may as well be screaming “BRAINS” as they hobble onstage.

Roadhouse Blues
Admittedly Vedder sang this with the surviving members of the Doors, but Pearl Jam has covered this “classic” live on at least one occasion. Moreover if you were fronting the Rolling Stones, would you choose “Mixed Emotions” over “Satisfaction”? Covering “Roadhouse Blues” in any context is akin to going through the Blues section of your favorite record store and passing over Skip James, Charley Patton and Howlin’ Wolf to get a Johnny Lang CD. In a way it’s perfect symmetry, a meeting of two generations of bands that’s seemed “heavy” when you discussed them in sixth period study hall. Break on through, Jeremy.

Last Kiss
Eddie Vedder must be the least gay man alive if he thinks this was a good idea. It’s a camp song, a testosterone Shangri-Las, a concept that Mr. I-care-about-environment and your orgasm simply can’t fathom. He manages to miss both the strength of the song and the (limited) strength of his voice by confusing the teen angst of 1960s Top 40 death rock with the whine of 1990s “Alt” mope rock.
Er, grunge, I mean. God only knows what he would do with “Judy’s Turn to Cry”.

Baba O’Reilly
Why cover this? It’s second only to “Stairway to Heaven” in the Songs You Need Never Hear Again category. I call this stuff “Play Me Some” rock. Shit-heads call the radio station and ask the DJ “Can you play me some Stones/Zep/Skynyrd/Floyd?” when what they are really asking for is to hear one of the four songs they actually know by these bands. Six if it’s Led Zeppelin.

Leaving Here.
Covering the Who covering Eddie Holland? Have these guys ever heard any black music first hand?

jimmy eight cats


dear jimmy eight cats,

i must admit something up front … I saw eddie play guitar w/ mike watt on that “popeye’s greatest hits” tour—or whatever that album he did with 200 lead singers in the mid-90s … and he did a credible job playin d. boon gtr. then again, i was standin next to winona ryder, and prob wasn’t listenin that closely … yes, it’s hard to open funny when you add “abused child” in yr first paragraph ... then again, we could start a whole new thread on Paulie Rodgers and his stint w/ queen. I still love thinking bout that moment when may & co. said “WTF!!! OF COURSE!”

by yr logic, would stone temple pilots be lulu or marianne faithfull (anita pallenberg??? Sure there’s a lost demo)? foo fighters be argent or the law? (to bring shit full circle!)

re: baba. ex-landlord who plays in a dead cover band constantly tried to woo me to his side. gave me a tape of dead covering classique hits. one was baba. prob my favorite cover ever. hearin that panty waist rhythm section bounce round the power chords put lovin tears in me eyes.

fuck, I’m loaded w/ anecdotes tonight. went to a wedding a few years back. shitty band opened w/ “i will dare” which was even funnier watching peeps dance to it, but a buddy requested stones and they played “mixed emotions". brilliance on the finger lakes that eve.

dammit. way too happy to sleep now.

stickin head in oven,

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