Friday, May 18, 2007

this just in ... mike love!!! MIKE LOVE!!!!!!

keepin tha summer alive!

mikey! call us. i'm with ya kid. i heard an lcd cut that might be sue-able. murray wuz right!

worst covers pt. 2

dear godihateyourband,

You know what the biggest difference between Pearl Jam and Bad Company is? Sincerity. I don’t find Eddie Vedder too credible when he’s singing about being an abused child, but I certainly believe Paul Rodgers when he talking about how much he loves pussy.

Pearl Jam played aren’t the Beatles to Nirvana’s Rolling Stones, they’re Herman’s Hermits. (Following this logic Mudhoney were the Pretty Things, Tad were the Downliners Sect and absolutely nobody were the Kinks.)

Kurt Cobain hits it big and like a good record geek he pushes the bands he loves that never got their due, giving a hunk of his MTV unplugged set over to the Meat Puppets and reforming the Raincoats. I repeat, the fucking Raincoats. What’s Vedder do? He jams with the Who and the Doors, two of the most overrated “classic” rock bands ever., who are so creatively desiccated they may as well be screaming “BRAINS” as they hobble onstage.

Roadhouse Blues
Admittedly Vedder sang this with the surviving members of the Doors, but Pearl Jam has covered this “classic” live on at least one occasion. Moreover if you were fronting the Rolling Stones, would you choose “Mixed Emotions” over “Satisfaction”? Covering “Roadhouse Blues” in any context is akin to going through the Blues section of your favorite record store and passing over Skip James, Charley Patton and Howlin’ Wolf to get a Johnny Lang CD. In a way it’s perfect symmetry, a meeting of two generations of bands that’s seemed “heavy” when you discussed them in sixth period study hall. Break on through, Jeremy.

Last Kiss
Eddie Vedder must be the least gay man alive if he thinks this was a good idea. It’s a camp song, a testosterone Shangri-Las, a concept that Mr. I-care-about-environment and your orgasm simply can’t fathom. He manages to miss both the strength of the song and the (limited) strength of his voice by confusing the teen angst of 1960s Top 40 death rock with the whine of 1990s “Alt” mope rock.
Er, grunge, I mean. God only knows what he would do with “Judy’s Turn to Cry”.

Baba O’Reilly
Why cover this? It’s second only to “Stairway to Heaven” in the Songs You Need Never Hear Again category. I call this stuff “Play Me Some” rock. Shit-heads call the radio station and ask the DJ “Can you play me some Stones/Zep/Skynyrd/Floyd?” when what they are really asking for is to hear one of the four songs they actually know by these bands. Six if it’s Led Zeppelin.

Leaving Here.
Covering the Who covering Eddie Holland? Have these guys ever heard any black music first hand?

jimmy eight cats


dear jimmy eight cats,

i must admit something up front … I saw eddie play guitar w/ mike watt on that “popeye’s greatest hits” tour—or whatever that album he did with 200 lead singers in the mid-90s … and he did a credible job playin d. boon gtr. then again, i was standin next to winona ryder, and prob wasn’t listenin that closely … yes, it’s hard to open funny when you add “abused child” in yr first paragraph ... then again, we could start a whole new thread on Paulie Rodgers and his stint w/ queen. I still love thinking bout that moment when may & co. said “WTF!!! OF COURSE!”

by yr logic, would stone temple pilots be lulu or marianne faithfull (anita pallenberg??? Sure there’s a lost demo)? foo fighters be argent or the law? (to bring shit full circle!)

re: baba. ex-landlord who plays in a dead cover band constantly tried to woo me to his side. gave me a tape of dead covering classique hits. one was baba. prob my favorite cover ever. hearin that panty waist rhythm section bounce round the power chords put lovin tears in me eyes.

fuck, I’m loaded w/ anecdotes tonight. went to a wedding a few years back. shitty band opened w/ “i will dare” which was even funnier watching peeps dance to it, but a buddy requested stones and they played “mixed emotions". brilliance on the finger lakes that eve.

dammit. way too happy to sleep now.

stickin head in oven,

Thursday, May 17, 2007

worst covers pt. 1

dear jimmy eight cats,

... if we're on the topic of worst covers, i'd be remiss without beginning with a band i don't like, the monolith GnR. if metallica has better covers than you, you've got a problem (and they've done some covers i like).

'knockin on heaven's door'
outta the gate they "rose" the bar (damn he's a shitty singer). and it's become a classic rock staple (go figger ... 'hey! gilmour's new cd sounds LIKE FLOYD!!!!). possibly the worst vocal ever ... but if there was a grammy for bootylicious (damn! there was). how bout robbie z's 'joey' next time mr. brownstone? that'll take up 1/8 of a cd.

'live and let die'
a horrible tune to begin with (let's take song by a dude who's way
past his prime ... at what like 32? doin a hollywood tune, that's
originally as over-blown as ron jeremy at a wrap party- (a dud, i
know). wow, rock new money duz ... uhm, rock ole money. i dunno, fast
eddie sells fats' tees at every local pool hall? stupid band doing
stupid about as good as it gets. i think axl & gang's about as much
of a hack as there is, but somebody put money behind this? why not
elton's princess di song? at least there's the charity angle? and you
could add rage/and a kilt?

suggested covers for GnR:

henry gross- shannon
anything off that last replacements album with the lost and
presumably dead dog on the cover (some indie cred?)? (psych ... your bass player knows it!)
if you're feelin hurtful while waiting for the pressing of yr magnum
opus 'chinese checkers' axl, maybe 'kill the dj' by the smithers?

i don't even wanna start with the spaghetti incident.

ah, that didn't feel so bad ... new bloggin knees & all.



dear godihateyourband,

And you've got the math wrong on GNR covering "Joey". Dylan's "Knockin' on Heaven's Door" is 2:32, GNR's is 5:36 which means it's 2.21 times the length of the original, therefore GNR's version of the 11:05 "Joey" would be 24:42.If they cover "Sad Eyed Lady of the Lowlands" and "Desolation Row"(total time-50:11), they could just about fit all three songs on one CD. I just hope Axl has never heard "Tales From Topographic Oceans".

jimmy eight cats


dear jimmy eight cats,

was it just a rumour ryan adams covered the post-shatter flipper record?