worst covers pt. 1

dear jimmy eight cats,

... if we're on the topic of worst covers, i'd be remiss without beginning with a band i don't like, the monolith GnR. if metallica has better covers than you, you've got a problem (and they've done some covers i like).

'knockin on heaven's door'
outta the gate they "rose" the bar (damn he's a shitty singer). and it's become a classic rock staple (go figger ... 'hey! gilmour's new cd sounds LIKE FLOYD!!!!). possibly the worst vocal ever ... but if there was a grammy for bootylicious (damn! there was). how bout robbie z's 'joey' next time mr. brownstone? that'll take up 1/8 of a cd.

'live and let die'
a horrible tune to begin with (let's take song by a dude who's way
past his prime ... at what like 32? doin a hollywood tune, that's
originally as over-blown as ron jeremy at a wrap party- (a dud, i
know). wow, rock new money duz ... uhm, rock ole money. i dunno, fast
eddie sells fats' tees at every local pool hall? stupid band doing
stupid about as good as it gets. i think axl & gang's about as much
of a hack as there is, but somebody put money behind this? why not
elton's princess di song? at least there's the charity angle? and you
could add rage/and a kilt?

suggested covers for GnR:

henry gross- shannon
anything off that last replacements album with the lost and
presumably dead dog on the cover (some indie cred?)? (psych ... your bass player knows it!)
if you're feelin hurtful while waiting for the pressing of yr magnum
opus 'chinese checkers' axl, maybe 'kill the dj' by the smithers?

i don't even wanna start with the spaghetti incident.

ah, that didn't feel so bad ... new bloggin knees & all.

hugz,
godihateyourband

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dear godihateyourband,

And you've got the math wrong on GNR covering "Joey". Dylan's "Knockin' on Heaven's Door" is 2:32, GNR's is 5:36 which means it's 2.21 times the length of the original, therefore GNR's version of the 11:05 "Joey" would be 24:42.If they cover "Sad Eyed Lady of the Lowlands" and "Desolation Row"(total time-50:11), they could just about fit all three songs on one CD. I just hope Axl has never heard "Tales From Topographic Oceans".

jimmy eight cats

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dear jimmy eight cats,

was it just a rumour ryan adams covered the post-shatter flipper record?